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公用大脑和模具脸

科学家协会终于打算做一件好事了——实现真正的平等。

The Association of Scientists is finally going to do something good - achieve true equality.


之前我们已经说到,人脸已经可以通过模具定制了,但是世界上依然有些人聪明,有些人愚蠢,要是连脑子都可以定制化,那么人和人的差异不就彻底消失了吗?

As we have said before, the face can already be customized through the mold, but there are still some people in the world are smart, some people are stupid, if even the brain can be customized, doesn't that mean the difference between people and people will completely disappear?


因为天才的脑子往往忧郁而傲慢,科学家决定这颗脑袋既不能太聪明,也不能太愚蠢,既不能太快乐,又不能太伤感,既不能太疯狂,又不能太消极。选来选去,最后就选到了我头上,于是我被打晕之后连夜取下脑子,作为未来人类的标准脑细胞。

Because the brain of a genius is often melancholy and arrogant, the scientist decided that the brain could be neither too smart nor too stupid, neither too happy nor too sad, neither too crazy nor too negative. It went back and forth, and finally it went to my head, so I was knocked unconscious and had my brain removed overnight, and it was used as the standard brain cell for future humans.


等我被克隆完的脑子被放回我的颅骨里重新接好,我一觉醒来,科学家们鼓着掌纷纷向我表示祝贺:“恭喜你!”他们说,“未来的人类都将用你的脑子,你将成为他们的祖先!”他们看起来非常高兴,似乎这是一件很值得喜悦的事,我倒只是有些好奇,摸着我脑门上的一圈缝合线走了。

When my cloned brain was put back into my skull and rewired, I woke up to a wave of congratulatory applause from scientists: "Congratulations!" They said, "All future humans will use your brain, and you will be their ancestor!" They looked very happy, as if it was something to be pleased about, but I was just curious and walked away, touching the suture on my forehead.


给我动手术的医生原本是做整容的,线缝的很干净整齐,几乎没有留疤,就像一圈颜色稍微浅一点的白圈。

The doctor who operated on me originally did plastic surgery, and the stitches were very clean and neat, almost no scars, just like a white circle with a slightly lighter color.


这个医生在我临走前问我需不需要换张脸,他这里有上好的人脸模具,是直接吧男星们的脸盖在模具上一比一开模的,之后根据一些细节还做了不少调整。

The doctor asked me if I wanted to change my face before I left, he has a good face mold here, is directly put the male stars' faces on the mold one by one, and then made a lot of adjustments according to some details.


“毕竟那些男星的脸和绝对的数理学美感比起来,就像是还没有脱毛的猴子。”医生这么说,“原本这样一张脸还没有普及,换一次要让人倾家荡产,可是看在你给全人类做的贡献,我让你免费选一张。”我有些心动了,按他的说法,我原本长得还不如猿猴。

"After all, compared to the absolute mathematical beauty, their face look like monkeys without hair removal." The doctor said, "Originally, such a face is not yet popular, and it would cost a person a fortune to change it, but in view of your contribution to mankind, I will let you choose one for free." I was a little moved, according to him, I originally looked less than an ape.


我选了一张脸。换脸的过程很简单,把脸加热软化之后,把冰冷的模具咔一下罩上去,再脱模就好,全程不超过10分钟。完事之后我照着镜子。现在就算阿波罗和大卫加起来也没有我英俊,就是冰冷的模具让脸也有些冷。“这是正常的。”医生告诉我,温度低有助于保湿和延缓衰老,我还可以得个冷面男子的美名。我接受了这个说法,带着这张新脸回家了。

I picked a face. The process of changing the face is very simple, after my face is heated and softened, the cold mold is put on the face, and then the mold is removed, the whole process does not exceed 10 minutes. I looked in the mirror when it was done. Now even Apollo and David combined are not as handsome as me, although the cold mold makes my face a little cold. "This is normal." The doctor told me that the low temperature would help moisturize and slow the aging process, and that I would gain a reputation as a cold-faced man. I accepted that and went home with my new face.


妻子听我兴奋的说完事情的经过:“所以说,你自己要换脸的?”

My wife, listened to me excitedly finish the story: "So you changed your face?"

我点头。她说:“刘轩,我们得离婚。”

I nodded. She said, "Liu Xuan, we have to get a divorce."


下午我们办了离婚手续,晚上我在酒吧里遇到了一个维纳斯加埃及艳后,我们一见钟情,晚上狠狠地做了爱。不仅是脸,她的阴道、大腿、乃至头发的分布都是黄金比例的模具做出来的,她对我在床上的表现很不满意:“你怎么只是换了张脸?”

In the afternoon we did the divorce process, and in the evening I met a Venus and Cleopatra in the bar, we fell in love at first sight, and made love in the evening. Not only her face, but also the distribution of her vagina, thighs, and even her hair were made of the golden ratio mold, and she was very dissatisfied with my performance in bed: "Why did you just change your face?"


我这时候才感到后悔,我应该让那医生给我全身都换一遍。维纳斯艳后的这番话也让我索然无味,当即离开了房间,这时候我却想起我的妻子平庸的脸来。

That's when I regretted it. I should have asked the doctor to change my whole body. These words of Venus left me unimpressed, and I immediately left the room, only to think of my wife's mediocre face.


一年后,我的脑子培养出来的新脑子被大量移植,一下子世界就变得不那么孤独了,所有人说的都是我能欣赏的笑话,所有人写的都是和我相同风格的文字,人人可以互相理解,我的脑子让这个世界变成了一个美丽的新世界。

A year later, the new brains that my brain had grown were transplanted in large numbers, and suddenly the world became less lonely, everyone told jokes that I could appreciate, everyone wrote in the same style as me, everyone could understand each other, and my brain made the world a Brave New World.


有时我和他们交谈时也会顺路提到:“你们用的都是我的脑子。”

Sometimes when I talk to them, I mention in passing, "You're all using my brain."


“嘿,兄弟,这可不公平。”他们说,“我们的脑子明明一模一样。”

"Hey, bro, that's not fair." They said, "Our brains are exactly the same."


我辩解说:“可是我的脑子是原来的,就是……最初的那个。”

I defended myself by saying, "But my brain is the same, that is... The original one."


他们摆摆手:“这是不平等的说法,难道你先拥有的这个脑子,就意味着你高我们一等吗?“

They wave their hands: "This is an unequal statement, does the fact that you have this brain first mean that you are better than us?"


“当然不是这样,我只是想说明…”突然我想到了,“山寨,对!你们知道山寨吗?虽然它们和原版一模一样……”

"Of course not. I just wanted to say..." Suddenly I thought, "Shanzhai, yes! Do you know shanzhai? Although they are exactly the same as the original..."


“山寨和原版并不一模一样,”他拍拍我的肩膀,“如果它能做到一模一样,那么它就是原版。我们都是原版。”

"A copy is not exactly the same as the original," he patted me on the shoulder. "If it can be exactly the same, then it's the original. We're all originals."


我觉得呼吸有点困难起来,借着上厕所为由跌跌撞撞地走开,这时候正好看见迎面走来的我的妻子,她边上的男子我越看越眼熟,仔细一看,那不就是我吗?

I feel a little difficult to breathe up, by the toilet on the ground to stumble away, this time just saw the coming of my wife, her side of the man I look more familiar, look carefully, that is not me?


我冲上去一把抓住他的领子:“你他妈的到底是谁?为什么要用我的脸?”这个人一脸疑惑的表情:“朋友,请松开你的手,我和你长得完全不一样。而我这张脸,是天生的,我叫刘轩。”

I rushed up and grabbed him by the collar. "Who the fuck are you? Why use my face?" The man had a confused look on his face: "My friend, please loosen your hand, I look completely different from you." This face is born with me. My name is Liu Xuan."


这时候我意识到了,脸孔扭曲起来:”是你,你是那个医生!你用一个模具骗走了我的脸!“这个人挣脱开我,“不好意思,麻烦您文明一些好吗?”

Then I realized, my face contorted: "It's you, you're the doctor! You tricked my face with a mold! "The man pulled away from me," I'm sorry, could you please be civilized?"


道路上的大屏幕突然换了颜色,上面出现了科学家团队,他们现在各个都长着阿波罗加大卫的脸:“各位,经过一年的时间,我们正逐渐从生理平等跃进向智力平等,让我们为此感谢大脑的贡献者,刘轩!”

The big screen on the road suddenly changed color to reveal a team of scientists, each now wearing the face of Apollo Kagwei: "Everybody, after a year, we are gradually making the leap from physical equality to intellectual equality, let us thank our brain contributor, Xuan Liu!"


这时屏幕上显出过去的我的脸,随后人群中不断发出惊呼:“天呐,是他!”惊呼变成欢呼,不断涌向妻子身边这个男人。

Then my face flashed up on the screen, followed by a chorus of "Oh my God, it's him!" The exclamation turned to cheers, and they kept rushing to the man next to my wife's side.



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